Honesty is Always the Best Policy



Recent weekend adventure made me start to wonder why or when the golden rule of "Honesty being the best policy" got thrown thrown out the window; apparently of  a very fast moving car that never once thought to look back.
I'll give you the scenario; a fun night out with the girls filled with bubbles, giggles, and dancing at the favorite spot. Everything was going great, the DJ had been playing some sweet jams from today and back in the school day. Somewhere between the shots and dance floor I had lost my ladies; upon the thorough search for their where abouts I came across two very attractive guys enjoying their evening. As I was walking by they stopped me for a chat; I figured the best way to find something that was lost was by staying in one spot and waiting for them to find me.
I stayed and chatted; they seemed like funny/good guys, one was more intriguing than the other...Fast forward to an hour later; club closing (my ladies found me; just so you know) and everyone was going their own way; Cute Guy #1 (who will forever more be known as CG1) and I decided to go the same way...To my house.
We chatted, we flirted, we kissed; he told me all about how he's this stand up guy who recently was burned by an ex 3 months ago; I was smart enough to enquire what he was looking for; testing the waters to see if he was in rebound mode, he swore that he wasn't that type of guy. He proceeded to tell me how he had seen me several months previous out a different club and how he was super excited to see me this night and how I seemed like such a great girl. CG1 and I shared more stories, kisses, and such; eventually ending up in the bedroom where I'll leave it to your imagination to fill in the blanks.
After some cuddling and kisses he explained that he had to go due to his dogs having been in the house for almost 8 hours and needed to be let out; that's cool, I get it. He made me take his number, wanted me to call him, he was going out of town for the following 2 days but wanted to see me again. He explained that he's not a game player and really wanted me to call him the next day...So, I did...
No reply, not even an awkward text message; WTF. Now, I'm not a naive girl; I'm actually very honest and up front and appreciate those that share the same philosophy; if CG1 would have been up front and said; "just got out of a relationship 3 months ago, and I'm not looking for anything serious." I would have been cool with; I could respect the honesty.
What is it about honesty that scares people; at what point did we all decide that everyone needed to be handled with kid gloves? I'm personally trying to put an end to this epidemic. Be honest, tell the truth; we've been taught this since birth and I don't know why we seem to avoid the rule and are scared to hurt someones feelings. At this point in my life; I'm old enough to learn the truth in all situations; if the truth about Santa Clause didn't kill me on the spot, the fact that CG1 is just looking for a night of fun wouldn't have made it any less fun. Man up CG1
I stand true to the golden rule; honesty is the best policy!

Until the next go round...

The Missing Gene

I had a conversation with a friend this evening regarding relationships; she asked me, point blank, if I really wanted one; you see, I was previously complaining that it's been forever since I had one.
I answered, "Yes, I would really like a relationship." I'm not going to lie, she seemed a little surprised. That reaction got me to thinking that perhaps there is something in my DNA make up that makes people think that I'm not a relationship person. I'm not implying that I'm a "good time girl"; but just never seemed to carry a relationship very long or very seriously. Perhaps when I was in the womb it got left behind with the gene for killer abs?
I proceeded to prob my friend a little further to see why she thought I didn't want a relationship; she said it was the fact that I'm so independent, carefree, and spontaneous that she thought I would find a serious relationship restraining. Is that a relationship; one where you can no longer go off and do what you want, when you want? Are you no longer to able to jump in the car and go visit your best friend who lives 3 hours away because you miss them? According to my friend, you can't just buy that top you saw in the window for a hundred dollars; just because you felt you really, really deserved it.
I understand that being in a serious relationship that you do have to take in another persons feelings, opinions, and even compromise when it's appropriate; but if losing myself and bending to the will of someone else is what a relationship is all about; perhaps it's a good thing my "relationship gene" got left behind; is this how it is for everyone?
Would my Independence, spontaneous, carefree nature truly be restricted by having someone to love and share my adventures with?
I think I'll have to try it out to be certain; I'll keep you posted.

Until the next go round...

Walk On

VS  

I don't know where you may be from; but in my corner of the World being outside and active is not a hobby; it's a way of life.
There is always one thing that I think about evertime I'm out for a walk in the local trails; "why is it we never treat each other as kindly as we do when we are on a trail?"
Perhaps you have thought this as well; when you are out enjoying the trees, birds song, and possible breeze; you inevitably pass people who are doing the same, you smile and even say, "Hello".
Now, if you were to move not even 30 minutes away and you passed that same person on the street, downtown, in the city; we barely; if at all, acknowledge that there is someone else there.
It's weird right? It's not just me, when it's pointed out like this, is it weird?
If it is just me, that's ok, I will stand alone and wonder why trail coutesy doesn't transfer to city courtesy; are we not the same people in the city than on the trail?
I wonder if it's because while we are in the city we are so self absorbed, in a rush,and just got tunnel vision on getting from point A to point B; that until we set foot on the dirt, allow ourselves to breath, slow down and really look around do we start to see people as people again, instead of obsticles to get by to get on our way because we are very busy and important people who can't be bothered with smiling or saying Hello to another person.
Since having this epiphany, I've started to try to transfer "Trail Courtesy" to the city and I strongly encourage you to do the same. Perhaps the atmosphere of ease, joy and happiness that we feel on the trail will too transfer to the city.
It never hurts to try.

Until the next go round...

Hurst So Good

Have you ever been told, “Don’t touch that; it’ll hurt you!” but just had to touch it so you knew just how much it would hurt? You just had to know for yourself; maybe you would like the hurt? Maybe it would feel so good that you would do it over, and over, and over again because even though it hurt, and you knew that it hurt, you just had to do it one more time and that would be the last time, or maybe just one more time and that would be the last time; you see where this is going.
I have a friend who is so lactose intolerant that it’s ridiculous; however, she loves chicken fettuccini in a extra creamy alfredo sauce, or pizza just oozing with mozzarella; she knows that she’ll pay for it later, she knows it will hurt; but she does it anyhow. Why? Because she loves it; she knows it hurts, but just doesn’t care.
John Mellencamp knew it; hell he wrote a whole song about it, “Hurts So Good”, “I ain’t complaining/ What you’re doing you see/ ‘Cos the hurting feeling is/ Oh so good to me”. This is a reoccurring theme in many songs; recently sung about by Lady Antebellum in “Need You Now”, “Guess I would rather hurt than feel nothing at all”.
Does this mean that secretly we are all masochists? Or just really slow learners?

I once knew a boy named Mark; when we first met I should have known not to touch, you could feel the electricity in the room between us; you would think I would know that that kind of electricity would lead to a very large spark; the kind that crack, frizzle, and make your hair stand on end when touched; obviously I should have known it would burn. But just how bad of a hurt I would get from it, I had to know!
Monumental hurt, you think I would have learned really quick; but sadly I was a moth to a flame; I’d often wondered why moths do it; fly straight at something so hot and painful that you can hear the scorch of their wings, but they keep going back; over, and over, and over again. It’s because John Mellencamp was right, it just Hurt so Good!
I have the greatest friends who figured I would eventually learn my lesson, stepped in when I didn’t, and eventually gave up on me when they say that I was as strung out as a junkie on this guy.
The hurt wasn’t the physical, mental, or emotional kind; it was the kind that lived in my heart; I wanted him forever and always, and he wanted me for awhile and while it was convenient. When it all started we were in the same city, but eventually we moved to different cities, and even to different country’s; yet, that whole moth to a flame thing endured; and we always found each other.
I’ve often thought this yo-yo dance we did would end in a happily ever after scenario; but alas my dear reader it didn’t. About a year ago; after many, many years of this same dance, this same hurt, I broke the cycle; I couldn’t hurt myself any more.
However, a year later the need to hurt has come back and I don’t know what to do!! I’m being strong, standing my ground, but the gut wrenching craving to do something that I know will just hurt me is so damn strong. So, I turn to you, what would you do?

Until the next go round...

Man VS Machine

Do you ever think of your car like a man; you love it when it’s working, but the moment it starts to falter we believe we are seeing his true colours?
My beloved vehicle story is like this; it started with love at first site; he was a second hand beauty, who had everything I was looking for: strong, durable, reliable, provided safety, and was economical; everything I was looking for in a man too; but the car came first.
It was a torrent love affair I had with this car, he could do no wrong; I had named him, I tend to do that with most things. His name was Frank the Tank. He delivered me everywhere I needed to go safely and soundly; we took several road trips together, off to see family, friends, or just be on the road.
As with all second hand cars it’s always good to treat them with a little tenderness, as you don’t know what happened with their previous owner; much like a man, you never know what happened in the previous relationship and what kind of emotional scaring they may have under the hood.
I gave Frank the Tank regular tune-ups and oil changes; then just when I was starting to get really comfortable in our relationship he started to act up; he needed a new alternator; which is a costly and time consuming overhaul. That’s ok, I know a few guys who after a while lose their get up with the same girl; so, like anyone else would do, I paid the staggering garage bill and got him his “get up and go” back. Sometimes, cars and men need to be reminded just how much you care.
I should have seen the warning signs that things weren’t going to get better though; why is it women tend to think we can change a man or car?
Frank got an oil leak, the horn went, the fuel filter needed to be changed, the timing belt went; but I was a faithful owner, I never gave up on him. I figured that I would just keep giving him what he needed and it would all work out in the end.
I see now, that I even do this in relationships and tend to put my man’s needs ahead of my own; I wonder if this is a wide spread phenomenon or is it just me? Hmmm….
Frank and I had one last road trip together and then; when we got safely home, he couldn’t do it anymore; he’d had enough, and left me stranded on the side of a road at night in the rain; of course in the rain, it’s always the same.
Frank and I have parted ways as he was not willing budge an inch…Literally, he wouldn’t move. I got him towed away, said my good-byes and watched him leave.
It was a sad day; just like when you are in a relationship you know it isn’t going anywhere; sometimes it’s best to say your goodbye’s and watch him leave.

You’ll be happy to know I have a new car in my life; his name is Oscar; we’ll see how he goes. At least this time I am aware, it won’t last forever and to enjoy the ride.

Until the next go round...

Angel in the Kitchen, Devil in the Bedroom??

Why is it men want that old proverb of an Angel in the Kitchen and a Devil in the Bedroom? Why can’t they be happy with just a Devil in the bedroom?
With all my dating and experiences with the opposite sex I still don’t know why men feel that they have to have it all.
Take for instance, this guy I’m seeing right now; we’ll call him Doctor Feel Good; doesn’t want a girlfriend; has made that perfectly clear; and I’m totally fine with this. Seriously, I am. I’m not one of those girls who says I’m ok with just sex then turns around and gets upset if he’s not calling or is constantly thinking about what he’s doing or who he’s with. I know these girls; it’s not me.
I would have stopped ages ago; as he was supposed to be a summer fling; well, the fling got flung, and I’m still sleeping with him.
We’ve disscused our situation and he told me; he just doesn’t want a girlfriend; he has no time for one with his work, it’s just not possible for him.
For some reason I think I’ve dated this guy a million times over and told him I’m looking for more; he agrees that I deserve more; but until I find it we can keep doing what we are doing. This works.
I’ve told him that I’ve seen other people and been dating other people; nothing serious has come of that yet; hence why I’m still sleeping with him; but out of no where I get a text from Doctor Feel Good stating the fact that he feels bad that I’m depending on him for sex, with his busy schedule he’s not always available for me when I want him.
Mmm, What??? That was my actual response! He said to forget about it; but this goes back to my point; Doctor Feel Good, even though he knows I’ve seen other guys, dated other guys, somewhere in his head believes that I’ve only been sleeping with him over these past 9 months; wow, just counted that out, that’s how much I care…
In his head; somehow he’s gotten in the Angel in the Kitchen, Devil in the bedroom thought process into his head.
Is this something that they promote in guys’ magazines or is this their version of fairy tales? Instead of the stories we hear from our mothers of Price Charming, who one day will come and whisk us away to an exciting life and love and adore us until the day we die.
They go out fishing with their dad’s at a young age and their dad’s tell them that their ideal woman when they grow up will be the perfect, respectable, elegant woman that they will proud to wear on their arms; but when they get them home; behind closed doors, she’ll be this wild, adventurous, energetic Amazon woman that will do things to him that dare not be repeated.
It’s just interesting as to where and when they get this kind of thinking; don’t you think?
Until the next go round…

The Definition of Luscious

By definition luscious means: arousing physical, or sexual, desire; voluptuous: a luscious figure.

And voluptuous by definition means: sensuously pleasing or delightful: voluptuous beauty. However, if you were to as a person in today’s society what the first thing that came to mind when they heard the words luscious or voluptuous; odds are 9 to 10 would say full figured women.

Now the question at hand is when these words sound so divine and evoke such titillating thoughts and feelings; why, when the term "full figured woman" gets stated is it associated with derogatory, demeaning, and flat out distasteful connotations?

I know that this isn't from everyone and there are exceptions to every rule...Thank God. But in society on a whole; it's there in neon: Full Figure = less then desirable.

This is not to complain, moan, or whine about how hard it is being a "full figured woman" it's just an outlet and if you come across this and find my points entertaining, educational, or even enlightening; keep reading and checking back there will be more.

I'll share my thoughts; I encourage you to do the same; ups, downs and all the turns on the merry-go-round on this ride we call life.